2012 Predictions

You've probably noticed a lot of these types of articles and posts of late. Particularly in the days immediately following New Years. They are usually the result of this time of the year being a little slow news-wise with very few political stories to speak of and pretty much the entire population being away on holidays.

So an editor or media 'boss' man or woman will say to whoever is left in the office, "I need something to fill this and that. Give us a prediction piece for the year ahead. Keep it simple and we'll bury it later on so that no-one can pick it up and tell how wrong you got it".

You know, something that doesn't require a hell of a lot of thought. Something loosely based on previous events and issues but mainly a task in filling up some print or airtime. I'm probably being a little cynical with all that, but you get the point.

Now of course my prediction post comes to you under no such circumstances. I've put a lot of thought into this (typing it out as thoughts come to me) so you can rest assured it's the result of stellar efforts in research and analysis. As always of course (cough, cough).

I'm also fully aware that my prediction post is a tad late being 24 days into the year. But hey, I've been busy. You know, heading to the beach most days. Walks through the National Park. Picnics by the river with the wife and son. That sort of thing.

Anyway, enough blubbering and more predicting. So without further adieu, here's EDM's predictions for 2012.

Premier Newman. It's a given. It won't be a landslide like some are saying because Campbell will likely make a few blunders during the campaign. Bligh will run a disciplined campaign to limit some of the damage for Labor but ultimately the electorate is sitting out there waiting with baseball bats for her and her party so a LNP victory it will be.

Secondary prediction on Premier Newman. His advisors will tell him sometime before the end of the year that Mrs Newman needs to stay away from press conferences. The phrase "get a room" will be used.

Gillard and Rudd will continue to be the subject of intense media speculation for the entire year regarding leadership and a possible challenge. Rudd will utter the words "I'm more than content being this nation's Foreign Minister" for the 2138th time while Gillard will say "I'm not going to comment on internal party matters" for the 1983rd time.

The Gambling Reforms trial in the ACT will actually work and show some really positive results. Wilkie's media release will be headlined "Hah, hah. Told you so". Clubs Australia's will say "It's a Communist Plot".

Brisbane Mayor Tim Quirk will continue to blame any council policy error or mistake on the previous administration. Hopefully someone will point out that the previous administration wound up back in 2004, a whole eight years ago.

AFL boss Andrew Demetriou to say "It's a long term plan" after each 100+ point loss by the Greater Western Sydney Giants. The Daily Telegraph in Sydney will run a related story every week pointing to the Giants' low crowd numbers while choosing to ignore crowd numbers for NRL games in Sydney.

During coverage of NRL games, Channel 9 will start broadcasting the odds for bets on how many times its commentators will mention betting and the latest odds.

The Wallabies will play beautiful yet combative rugby to defeat the All Blacks the week before being beaten by Romania. Coach Robbie Deans will say we're building for the World Cup so we have to experiment with players in positions they're not entirely comfortable with. Playing Will Genia in the second row will be widely condemned nonetheless.

Australian cricket selectors' fast bowling rotation policy will result in John Howard being called up for the Boxing Day Test.

On a cold winter's day in July, your nearest climate change denier will say it's evidence that the earth isn't warming and therefore that one day shows that the last 30 years of science is wrong.

Gina Rinehart, Twiggy Forrest and Clive Palmer will instigate a PR campaign against the incoming carbon tax around the middle of the year. It will be titled "Billionaires united. We'll never be defeated!"

The Courier Mail will continue to run stories proudly boasting of record distribution sales. You're the only paper in a town that has experienced massive population growth in the last ten years. Of course you're going to sell a few more papers.

And while I'm here, did anyone else see the recent Sunday Mail article on kiwi criminals migrating to Australia. "A conga-line of kiwi criminals..." Jaysus, is that journalism or creative writing? Can just see these blokes lining up at customs with hands on the hips of the person in front of them and kicking their feet up every sixth beat.

And finally, it will be revealed that a secret agreement exists between Channel 9's A Current Affair and Channel 7's Today Tonight. "Monday you do dodgy builders and I'll do the latest celebrity diet. Tuesday you do internet love rats and I'll do plastic surgery bungles. Wednesday you do bogan neighbourhood disputes and I'll do 'aren't the banks bastards' etc...."

So there you have it. EDM's predictions for 2012. Looks like quite a list of people to offend or potentially offend. Ah well, I'm just the messenger and you know what they say about them.

Til next time,

EDM.