First Day Back Blues

Same old desk. At same old cubicle. On same old floor. In same old building. Does it sound like I’m glad to be back at work? Really? Its that obvious?

Yes, EDM is a workin’ man once more. The joys of daddy day care & a chilled and relaxed life on the Sunny Coast have come to an end. I have but mere memories now. To go along with my security, coffee & go cards. I’m a slave to them now.They say the anticipation is sometimes worse than the event. Well actually, I said that. So Sunday was largely spent in denial with the odd feeling of dread creeping in. I tried not to think about it too much but things like ironing an shirt, trying to find black socks in a drawer and fishing my shoes from the bottom of a box bought it all back. Alas, I ventured to bed on Sunday night feeling at peace with it all and resigned to my predicament.

Monday morning was much the same except for the fact it was very real and the illusion of it being far away was gone. I ate my breakfast with a nervous kind of feeling imagining what awaited me given the upcoming election and what that might mean in terms of workload and busyness. It was not likely to be a normal caretaker mode based on discussions I’d had with my boss the week before. My clothes were all waiting for me after my shower but I had to have a chuckle when the son stopped and pointed at me while I put shoes/socks on and said “What’s they?” Understandable really given I’d spent the six months before in thongs.

I was blissfully ignorant of my situation while sitting on the train though and surfed the net on my phone. It wasn’t until I got off the train at Central that it really hit me. And wow, didn’t it hit me. Watching all the worker drones filing out in front of me and then filtering into the many tunnels beneath bought it all back and I had to force myself to take the steps towards them and join the long lines waiting to ‘touch off’. I quickly became part of the masses working their way through Anzac Square and all the memories of doing this day-in day-out for years came flooding back.

I eventually made my way towards my building up on George Street and remembered I needed some cash from an ATM. Then a coffee. Then a water bottle for my desk. Yes, I was procrastinating big time and doing my best to delay that first walk back inside and to the office. I eventually ran out of options though and there was nothing left but to take a deep breath and face the inevitable. I ran across the street as rain started to fall and before I knew it was crossing the threshold and holding up my photo card to tell security I belonged. Although, ‘belonged’ was the last thing I was actually feeling.

I then entered the lift and had a complete blank. “What floor do I go to again?” Quite amazing what six months can do. Forgotten where work even is. It came back to me just in time though as someone else strolled in. They assumed I was holding the lift for them rather than not having a clue which button to press so a small win there.

The lift opened a few moments later and I was outside the security door of my floor. “Ah yes, I need to swipe my security card don’t I. I didn’t need anything like this to access the beach, the national park...”. I swiped quickly and found myself walking the corridor toward my desk. No-one seemed to be around at the time so I managed to slink past a few offices and avoid the inevitable questions and mindless chitchat, before coming to my bosses. A tap on the door and a quick turnaround then revealed a big smile. “Thank god you’re back” my boss said.

Yes, I was back. Back to the same old desk. Back to the same old cubicle....

I’m in my second week back now and I’m starting to get back into the swing of things. I was fairly flat all last week and missed the son like crazy but glad that first week is done. It was always going to be tough. Alas, the election result has created quite a bit of excitement around the place, some good and some bad, and my brain is getting back into the mindset that is needed.

What the coming weeks hold is not known but one thing I do know is that there’s no way of stopping the staring out the window and dreaming of what I was doing a mere few weeks ago. Surfing. Playing. Enjoying.

Nah, not missing it at all. Can’t you tell?

EDM.

Best Laid Plans...

Regular readers will no doubt be aware that EDM and Family are having to move back to Brisbane after enjoying six months living in the hills behind Noosa. It's with regret that we're having to do so, but as I explained in this post a few weeks ago, the realities of mortgages and job security has bought it on.

We made the decision back in late January and it's been action stations in getting the move organised and getting prepared for a return to our former lives in Brisbane. The plan was for me to go back to my public service job, the wife to find a new job and for the son to return to his old daycare centre that we loved so much.

Accommodation-wise, it seemed quite fortuitous that an opportunity to house-sit for 5-6 months had come up so it was all arranged and we were pretty much all sorted. Alas, that housesitting opportunity has now fallen through a mere week or so before the move and we now find ourselves homeless. Well, homeless from next Monday when we actually move out of our Sunny Coast home.

So what to do? What to do? Any one got room at their 'inn' for a small family of three? Relatively clean and very courteous. Don't take up much room at all. Except for the son and his many trains, trucks, cars and bikes. We can even throw in a trampoline or multiple sherrins if that will sweeten a deal. Any one?

In all seriousness, looks like we'll merely continue down the path of moving most of our stuff into storage and may well have to land on our respective parents for a week or so while we find something more permanent. We could try and rush down to Brisbane and find a rental today/tomorrow for next week but there's too much risk that we'll rush into a decision being so desperate and make a bad choice. We certainly can't afford to get into any bidding war either.

One thing that I have noticed through all this, is that both the wife and I have been remarkably relaxed about our predicament. It's quite daunting thinking about what we'll need to be doing and organising over the next month but we haven't been too anxious or stressed by it all just yet. Maybe the word 'yet' is the crucial one there.

So maybe this little period up the coast and spending some quality time with each other has changed us both in some small way. Perhaps the 'chilled outness' and more relaxed state of mind up here has rubbed off and that's why we haven't turned into stress monkeys by the current scenairo. Just can't help thinking our previous selves back when we were living the 'rat race' in the big smoke would have reacted somewhat differently.

Who knows really. Just some amateur psychoanalysing and overindulging in the 'thinky' stuff. Perhaps as a form of denial and a way of diverting attention away from our predicament. You know, shuffling deckchairs on the Titanic and all that.

In any case, my frequency in posting over the next fortnight or so might come down a notch. There's plenty to think about, plenty to decide upon, and plenty to do. EDM is a man of action as well as a wordsmith, and an action man is what is needed right now.

So signing off until the next time, hopefully with some better news on living arrangements and alike.

EDM.

PS - Living through another 24 hour period of upwards of 200mm of rain falling here and in the towns around us. It was only Friday a week ago that we got 260mm in 18 hours which resulted in no access to Noosa and plenty of damage to the roads and infrastructure around Cooroy, Eumundi and Doonan. It was unbelievable to sit through, with a storm that last nearly six hours.

Well, today we're going through something similar. Tried to head into Noosa this morning for some groceries to find Eumundi-Noosa Rd closed again. Headed to Eumundi instead and plenty of tourists and out-of-towners walking into shops trying to get directions to here and there now that some of the roads are closed. There's also water across some of the access roads in and out of Verrierdale where we live.

Anyone got blueprints for an Ark?