Man (and Woman) Vs Toddler III

The story continues….

The usual dinner and bathtime routines completed, I then took the son upstairs to our room to read him some books. I’d noticed some suggestions on the interweb around the importance of set routines before bed and thought this would be a good time to introduce a new one for our son.

He enjoyed the first three books and then pointed to another. We read that and still no signs of tiredness. ‘Here we go again’ I thought.

I then found another book and all of a sudden, two pages in, the son let out a big yawn and stretched his arms. Not sure where it came from, but I said to him “Do you want to go to sleep buddy?”. And then was completely gobsmacked when he nodded a yes in reply. In a flash I was up carrying him to his room and kissed him on the forehead as I said goodnight.

I left the room with him still awake and stood at his door. Time seemed to stop as my heart beat faster and my ears were pricked for any kind of noise. And then it began. The crying started up and I retreated downstairs to go through it all again.

Taking note of our experience that continually going in just seemed to make the son angrier and more upset, I decided to just let him cry for as long as I could take it and not go in at regular intervals. I also decided I couldn’t just sit there and listen to the screaming so put my iPod on as I made dinner and tucked into a nice glass of Shiraz.

Dinner finished, I looked up at the clock and took note that it was 30 minutes since I put him down. Earphones out, and there it was. The son was still crying. But as I listened more intently, I could hear that it was a very different cry. More of a moan than a cry. More of a protest than a scream.

I decided I needed to persist as the crying was not that intense and me going in would surely result in him starting up again. The next minute went slow. And then the next one even slower. ‘Cmon little man, just go to sleep’, I found myself muttering.

Another minute went by so I tried to occupy my mind with other matters. Anything but the sounds coming from upstairs and the reminders of my upset son.

Then all of a sudden the crying stopped. I walked half way up the stairs and listened carefully. Another minute went by and still no noise from the son’s room. Could it have worked? Could he have finally given in?

The answer was yes. It had worked in getting him down to sleep without any assistance at all. The true test though, was going to be when he woke during the night. As that had been the real battlefield.

Totally spent after all the comings and goings of the last few nights, I went to bed early and readied for myself for the next onslaught. I went down in mere moments and slept like I’d never slept before. Eventually awakening to the sounds of the son crying once again.

But this time, it wasn’t midnight or 3am. It was 6am and the sun was peaking through the gaps between the window and blind. “You beauty” I thought as I quickly walked into the son’s room and hugged him intensely with pride. He smiled back at me like he knew exactly what was going on and he was proud of himself too. A real father-son moment.

And that seemed to be the straw that broke the camel’s back. Despite some trepidation from the wife and I over the next few nights, the son continued to sleep through and has now even started to wave goodnight to us as we leave his room at sleeptime. Not too mention the odd time when he has motioned toward his cot to say he’s ready for sleep now. What a transformation for him, and what a transformation for us.

So that is the story of our sleeping son. Another Man v Toddler tale, encompassing all the aspects of a good thriller. A battle of wits between two clever adversaries. Full of suspense and intrigue. Hope and despair. But then culminating nicely into a rounded ending where the heroes win the day and everyone lives happily ever after.

At least until the son gets sick again that is. And then all bets are off I'm sure.

EDM.

Man (and Woman) Vs Toddler II

The story continues….

Night 3 ended up being the worst night of the whole process. Obviously the son realised he was in a war for his sleeping freedom and he wasn’t going to give up without one hell of a fight. “I will fight them on the streets. I will fight them on the beaches….”.

Again, the start of the night was better and he was down after about 40 minutes. Mind you, I think that was because he was absolutely exhausted as the new regime was completely messing about his day sleeps as well. He’d been a good day sleeper for quite some time and was going down for nearly two hours each day.

Alas, the last few days had thrown a spanner in the works and those sleeps were now down to only 45 minutes. Just to add to our tiredness as it stopped us from catching up on some sleep during the day.

So while 40 minutes wasn’t bad, it wasn’t good either. And there were some terse words between the wife and I as we questioned the tactics being used and were struggling to see any light at the end of the tunnel. Massively influenced by our own exhaustion levels and loss of the ability to think and act in a rational manner.

The son then woke at midnight, again, and it was game-on for nearly 3 hours. He didn’t scream the whole time but it was just short breaks of a minute at most before he’d wind up again like an air raid siren. Total utter screamfest.

Again, it was horrible to listen to and the wife ended up outside on the balcony hoping she wouldn’t be able to hear it. But she still could. Which then caused even more anxiety on our part as we worried about the neighbours hearing it all as well.

We extended the periods between us going in and settling him down. Alas, the requirement that we leave him in the cot still awake so that he learns to self-settle was proving a real hindrance. Because he’d just start up again as soon as we left and it just seemed to make him even angrier. In turn, it would then take even longer to get him to settle back down and stop crying.

Come 3am then, and with all life and sense of purpose drained out of us, I gave in and let the wife go in and settle him back to sleep. He was down and out in mere seconds but we felt defeated. We were losing this war badly despite the odd battle win.

So far from ultimate victory, we were like the British Army at Dunkirk in 1940. But where was our Winston to rally the nation and stare the enemy down.

The books and routines we’d read actually mentioned some timeframes for likely success. 3-15 nights was the answer. That’s not an answer. Having a range like that is the same as saying ‘hey, we haven’t got a clue how long it’ll take. Give it a go and hope for the best’.

Well, the son certainly wasn’t a 3 night prospect now and in all likeliness we were going to be doing this for over two weeks. Lord have mercy!

I actually woke the next day and said to the wife that perhaps we should stop it and try again in a few weeks. It was a thoroughly weak moment but I was a beaten man and seeing my wife as upset as she’d been was taking its toll on me and my determination to succeed.

To my wife’s credit she said no, and that we needed to keep going to ensure the last three nights were not wasted. So the decision was made to continue. Death or glory as they say.

The wife also woke the next morning with some stomach cramping and a massive headache to go with it. She was being a trooper though and told me to go off to work anyway. As the day went on, she got worse and worse to the point that she drove over to her parents house so that they could help out with the son.

Once work finished, I headed over there as well and said to her that perhaps she should spent the night there and rest while I took on the son for another night. At first, she said no but after some coaxing from her parents, she reluctantly agreed and pretty much went straight to bed at 6:30pm just after the son and I returned home.

Now, this sounds pretty underhanded, but I was glad to not have the wife around that night as seeing her so upset was making the task that much harder. It was emotionally draining having to witness the anguish of our son. But it was also exhausting having to continually convince the wife of what we were doing.

So without her there, I could do it my way and not be questioned about my sense of empathy or kindness. Because I knew we weren’t being cruel or unkind. This was for the son’s greater good, and that in fact, we were being kind in trying to teach him to self-settle and sleep so much better.

To be continued….

EDM.

Man (and Woman) Vs Toddler

I’m struggling big time as I type this out. Energy levels are at an extreme low and my eyes feel like sandpaper. Just went to the bathroom and wondered ‘who the hell is that guy’ when I looked in the mirror. Yes, I am a zombie. The human undead walking the streets in search of something. What is that something again? Ah yes, sleep. The sleep of the dead.

I wrote that on 4 January 2011. The reason I was feeling so damn lousy at the time was that the wife and I had decided the new year would bring in a new regime for our non-sleeping son. It’s been over a month since then and I can now report we have a sleeping son.

It didn’t take a month to happen mind you. Much shorter than that. It’s just taken me a month to contemplate the whole ordeal and put it into words. So here is the next instalment of Man v Toddler. Or Man and Woman V Toddler to be precise.

The beginning then. For a number of reasons – sickness, parental laziness, etc – the son had developed some pretty darn ordinary sleeping habits over the months leading up to D-Day (1 Jan). As a result, he’d developed the bad habit of only settling and falling to sleep if one of us was in the room with him. He’d then also wake nearly every hour or so and stick his head up to see if we were still there.

This failure to self-settle was therefore causing severe sleep shortages for the wife and I. And the only sleep we were getting was on our son’s floor, resulting in sore backs, bruised ribs and extremely weary minds.

This situation was of course not sustainable and following a very disrupted Xmas period, the decision was made that we’d try and change the son’s sleeping patterns and hopefully teach him the holy grail of baby sleeping, self-settling.

A tool that we felt was our responsibility to teach him and one he would have for the rest of his life. Especially given his development needs, but also for our sanity. And 1 January 2011 seemed like as good a night as any. First day of the rest of our lives and all that.

Well, Night 1 was not fun at all. Having always been settled to sleep, the son was not a happy camper about us putting him in his cot awake and leaving the room to allow him to self-settle. We’d decided to follow a set routine recommended by a reputable Children’s Health website and following five visits in just over an hour he finally fell asleep. As per his routine up to then, he again woke a few hours later demanding to be settled back to asleep.

Tired beyond all recognition already, we set out to follow the routine once again but it was horrible. Absolutely horrible. This was all so new to the son and he screamed the house down for what seemed like an eternity as we lay there with no choice but to listen to it all, resulting in plenty of tears from the wife as well.

It lasted one and a half hours in the end with the son finally falling asleep when I last went in and placed him back down on his back. A bit of a fail therefore in trying to get him to self-settle to asleep, but hey, what could I do? I certainly wasn’t going to wake him from it and start it all over again.

Night 2 was a little better as it wasn’t such a fight to get him to asleep at the start of the night. Just short of an hour if memory serves me correctly. He then slept for a long period, despite some noises in his sleep around midnight, before waking at 3am. Pleasantly surprised that it was that late, we then settled in for the ‘crying game’ once more thinking maybe this whole thing will work quite quickly.

Our initial hope then turned to disappointment as the son cried on-off for two hours before dropping off by himself. A small victory in that he’d not required us to be there to fall asleep. But a very small victory in that he probably fell asleep from sheer exhaustion and dehydration (from all the crying) more than anything.

He then managed to sleep for a couple more hours until 6:30am but it was impossible for the wife and I to get back to sleep after all that, so we were pretty much awake from 3am that day.

To be continued….

EDM.

Yasi, A Game-Changer

Jaysus! The world has gone mad. Well, our little corner of it here in Queensland anyway.

I’ve been following Cyclone Yasi during the day with it due to hit between Cardwell and Innisfail in a mere matter of a few hours (10pm). The day began with the news that it had been upgraded to Category 5 overnight before an early meeting at work where we were told some pretty scary stuff about what’s likely to occur over the next 36 hours.

The sheer size of Yasi is unbelievable. Plenty of radar images are going around the interweb comparing it with Larry (2006) and Tracey (1974) as well as stimulated images of how it would look if it was over the continental USA or Europe. Based on those, you can certainly see why Yasi is being billed as the most powerful cyclone to hit Australia since settlement.

500km of coastline to be affected. Record 300km/h winds. Waves as high as 12m. Storm surge of 6.5m. And a metre of rain in 24 hours in some areas. That’s just some of the stats that will see all sorts of weather records broken if current predications are fulfilled.

Not to mention the financial cost which could very much be the most expensive natural disaster Australia has seen. A record currently held by the recent floods in southern and central Queensland which will likely be broken in a matter of a few weeks.

What is going on?

One of biggest stats that has hit me is the fact Yasi will still be considered a cyclone by the time its reaches Mt Isa, 1000km away. Usually when a cyclone hits the coast, it almost immediately begins to downgrade and become merely a tropical low that brings a fair bit of rain but not much else in terms of winds, etc.

But Yasi is due to still be a Category 3 cyclone with all its damaging winds and torrential rain when it hits Georgetown 450km inland and then still be a Category 1 when it hits the Isa, some 24 hours after it first crossed the coast. That is massive and does not bode well for all the mines out west and all the prime agricultural land between them and the coast.

Another thing that really hit me was the warning that went out about earlier today warning residents to not panic if your roof is lifted off. “Yeah, no worries. I’ll just make myself a cuppa while my new permanent skylight takes shape. Oh, there’s no power. Probably because the walls just went flying down the street as well.”

Nah seriously, that warning also came with the advice that it was better to stay in your house, preferably the bathroom, and just get wet rather than trying to move about and find other shelter. Particularly important during the eye of the storm which is expected to last over an hour before even heavier winds start up as Yasi continues on her merry-way.

Truly scary stuff. Thoughts and prayers therefore with all those in north Queensland for the coming 24 hours.

The politics at play that come out of this are going to be very interesting also. Before Xmas, some work colleagues and I were discussing the Bligh Government electoral prospects at the time. Everyone was pretty dismissive of those prospects but a couple of comments were made that a big natural disaster or a change in leadership, Government or Opposition, could change everything.

Well, the natural disaster thing has certainly come to fruition. In many ways, the flooding was the complete game-changer that we were talking about. In fact, it has almost been a game-changer for Federal politics as well.

But there’s now every likelihood that Yasi will be another complete game-changer that turns everything on its head once again. Because the State Government is going to be massively impacted over the coming weeks with every normal process or system in place being in disarray as the Premier and a host of senior bosses bunker down in the Emergency Centre and coordinate the recovery.

Added to that is the fact the Commission of Inquiry into the floods is due to commence next week and the establishment of the Reconstruction Authority, which will surely be expanded to include north Queensland after Yasi, is soon to be debated in Parliament.

The Opposition will have to be very careful in how it makes its arguments over the coming weeks as well. Just as Abbott has been accused of using the flooding to make cheap political points, Langbroek could be susceptible to the same accusations if he goes too negative and opposes every move the Government makes.

So all this again, only a fortnight after the floods occurred and the total chaos that they caused. Not to mention a Budget already in deficit that is due in May and an election that has to be called within the next twelve months.

Yep, a complete game-changer indeed. As the old Chinese curse goes, “may you live in interesting times”.

EDM.