Its nearly the end of June already? Where did the last six months go? More importantly, where did the last three months go since EDM and Family returned from our happy life on the Sunshine Coast?
Yes, my head is spinning a little at the moment. I am seriously in awe about the fact 2012 is nearly halfway through and that 2013 beckons. Mainly because it just feels like my life is rushing along way too quickly and I’m not getting even half a chance to stop, collaborate or listen. (Really need to do something about those Vanilla Ice references. It's like I've got Tourettes or something)
I guess the main point I’m trying to make is exactly what John Lennon once said – “Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans.” What a visionary. Because my life certainly seems like its steaming along and telling me to hurry up while I’m still trying to come to terms with what I’m actually going to do with it. I mean I’m in my mid 30s and have had a career for nearly 12 years now, but I’m still waiting to grow up and work out what the hell it is I want to do.
And with all the getting out the door in the morning, and daycare drop-offs, and meeting after meeting interspersed with more meetings, and daycare pickups, and then dinner/bath routines and a quick conversation/catchup with the wife, where exactly is there time to contemplate all that and come up with an answer? There isn’t. So you get back on the merry-go-round once again and repeat ad nauseam while consoling yourself with the fact you have a steady job and you’re supporting your family and...oh shit, I’m stuck on this train forever aren’t I?
Well actually, I do know what it is I want to do. What I think I’d really love to do. There’s just a small problem. Sorry, massive problem. In that it don’t pay well, especially at the beginning, and I already have a steady job and I’m supporting my family, etc etc. Guess I could give it a go at night after the quick-conversation/catchup-with-the wife and before-bed stage. Yeah, maybe then. But then again, that stage is extremely short. Could be measured in minutes some nights in fact.
But if you want something so bad you should be able to find the time surely. Isn’t that what all the self-help books would say? Or maybe Chuck Norris? Well yeah, I do want it. But I don’t want it so bad that I’m willing to become a tired, cranky bastard and bankrupt my family following my tendency to fall asleep at my desk and fail in my duties to keep this State up and running. (I may have exaggerated that last point. But no-one reads this blog anyway)
I’ve digressed. Yes, I am just feeling that my life is a little out of control at the moment and that the weeks and months are flying by without any real appreciation or acknowledgement. I’m not getting any younger, as the thinning hair on my forehead tells me, so shouldn’t I be living every minute and every hour to the full? Shouldn’t every week and every month be ‘lived’ rather than ‘lived through’?
I don’t know what the answer is. Another stint on long service leave up the coast maybe. I did thoroughly enjoy those six months and certainly felt like a lived a truly simple life that allowed me to ponder and contemplate as well as spend quality time with the son and wife. I’ve certainly come to realise that I do love a good ponder and a good contemplate. You know, ‘I think therefore I am’ and all that. But I can’t keep taking long service leave every few months as there wouldn’t be enough service being served to constitute ‘long service’.
I just need a remote control for my life I think. One where I can go into slow motion mode and take a good look at everything that is happening around me and put some appropriate time and effort into the things that matter most to me. One with even a rewind button. Yeah, that’d be great. Especially on those mornings I wake up with a hangover and a nagging feeling that I said something out of the turn the night before. Who knows, even one with a fast forward button. Just to make sure that everything ends up working out for the best and that things will be all right. Particularly on the family stuff.
Hang on. A remote control for my life? Jaysus, is this what I come up with when I do get a chance to ponder and reflect? I sound like a screenwriter for a bad Adam Sandler movie. And it’s not even an original idea at that. I'd probably lose the bloody thing down the back of the couch anyway.
Oh well, perhaps I should just stick to my day job then. The one that supports the family and pays off the mortgage. And the one that’ll help me pay for the mid-life crisis that is so obviously just around the corner.
Til then,
EDM.
Yes, my head is spinning a little at the moment. I am seriously in awe about the fact 2012 is nearly halfway through and that 2013 beckons. Mainly because it just feels like my life is rushing along way too quickly and I’m not getting even half a chance to stop, collaborate or listen. (Really need to do something about those Vanilla Ice references. It's like I've got Tourettes or something)
I guess the main point I’m trying to make is exactly what John Lennon once said – “Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans.” What a visionary. Because my life certainly seems like its steaming along and telling me to hurry up while I’m still trying to come to terms with what I’m actually going to do with it. I mean I’m in my mid 30s and have had a career for nearly 12 years now, but I’m still waiting to grow up and work out what the hell it is I want to do.
And with all the getting out the door in the morning, and daycare drop-offs, and meeting after meeting interspersed with more meetings, and daycare pickups, and then dinner/bath routines and a quick conversation/catchup with the wife, where exactly is there time to contemplate all that and come up with an answer? There isn’t. So you get back on the merry-go-round once again and repeat ad nauseam while consoling yourself with the fact you have a steady job and you’re supporting your family and...oh shit, I’m stuck on this train forever aren’t I?
Well actually, I do know what it is I want to do. What I think I’d really love to do. There’s just a small problem. Sorry, massive problem. In that it don’t pay well, especially at the beginning, and I already have a steady job and I’m supporting my family, etc etc. Guess I could give it a go at night after the quick-conversation/catchup-with-the wife and before-bed stage. Yeah, maybe then. But then again, that stage is extremely short. Could be measured in minutes some nights in fact.
But if you want something so bad you should be able to find the time surely. Isn’t that what all the self-help books would say? Or maybe Chuck Norris? Well yeah, I do want it. But I don’t want it so bad that I’m willing to become a tired, cranky bastard and bankrupt my family following my tendency to fall asleep at my desk and fail in my duties to keep this State up and running. (I may have exaggerated that last point. But no-one reads this blog anyway)
I’ve digressed. Yes, I am just feeling that my life is a little out of control at the moment and that the weeks and months are flying by without any real appreciation or acknowledgement. I’m not getting any younger, as the thinning hair on my forehead tells me, so shouldn’t I be living every minute and every hour to the full? Shouldn’t every week and every month be ‘lived’ rather than ‘lived through’?
I don’t know what the answer is. Another stint on long service leave up the coast maybe. I did thoroughly enjoy those six months and certainly felt like a lived a truly simple life that allowed me to ponder and contemplate as well as spend quality time with the son and wife. I’ve certainly come to realise that I do love a good ponder and a good contemplate. You know, ‘I think therefore I am’ and all that. But I can’t keep taking long service leave every few months as there wouldn’t be enough service being served to constitute ‘long service’.
I just need a remote control for my life I think. One where I can go into slow motion mode and take a good look at everything that is happening around me and put some appropriate time and effort into the things that matter most to me. One with even a rewind button. Yeah, that’d be great. Especially on those mornings I wake up with a hangover and a nagging feeling that I said something out of the turn the night before. Who knows, even one with a fast forward button. Just to make sure that everything ends up working out for the best and that things will be all right. Particularly on the family stuff.
Hang on. A remote control for my life? Jaysus, is this what I come up with when I do get a chance to ponder and reflect? I sound like a screenwriter for a bad Adam Sandler movie. And it’s not even an original idea at that. I'd probably lose the bloody thing down the back of the couch anyway.
Oh well, perhaps I should just stick to my day job then. The one that supports the family and pays off the mortgage. And the one that’ll help me pay for the mid-life crisis that is so obviously just around the corner.
Til then,
EDM.
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